


Fix You

by Phandom4Life



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boyfriends, Cutting, Death, Depression, Gen, Love, M/M, Self Harm, Song - Freeform, Suicide, Words, fix you, liveshow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:06:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4903147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandom4Life/pseuds/Phandom4Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning Self Harm Trigger/ Suicide </p><p>Dan ends his live show after addressing his viewers about hate comments. They were bullying him saying go an die to stop swearing, tidy his bed and things like that. </p><p>He has had enough and wants to end his life. Can Phil stop him in time. Or will it lead Phil to do something drastic as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix You

When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse  
And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?

 

Dan was doing a live show talking to some of the fans. They had started picking on him about his room.  
So as he read the comments Dan was feeling rather sad.  
A girl typed into the chat something that hit close to home for Dan.  
Her name was Phan Girl - 123 said “Why do you always swear? Nobody likes you for it.” Dan's face dropped to the ground when he  
read it out loud. Why were the fans picking on him all of sudden he thought. 

Than more comments after more came into the chat.“Do you know how to make your bed? Phil should  
teach you how.” Typed Susan 44. Than another comment came in as Dan had tears in his eyes.  
“He is such a weirdo why are you all even watching him? This is crazy I’m leaving.” Typed MatthewIsTheBomb45 in the chat but Dan remained silent.  
Dan couldn’t find the words to say he was about ready to end the live show. 

But than one final comment made Dan snap. From BadBoyRulz89 “ danisnotonfire is such a joke Phil is the one that made him famous. Yet he doesn’t get half the credit that Dan does. Why is he even aloud on the internet he should go and kill himself. So we never have to look at him again.” 

 

With that Dan had tears flowing down his cheeks. He turned to look at the screen. The fans who had been watching were horrified seeing Dan in tears. The chat had practically stopped to listen to what Dan would say next. 

Dan spoke letting his tears fall onto the key board. He had nothing left anymore this was it.

“ Well this is the real Dan Howell. I don’t no why you all hate me so much ……. well I guess maybe I do....... you all want me to kill myself maybe I should. It would make you all very happy. But thank you to the fans who are standing up for me. it means more than you will ever no. So I guess this is …….goodbye……...internet." .”  
So with that Dan switched off the live show. Leaving the fans who truly care freaking out.

The fans started spamming Twitter. Trying to make sure Dan was ok. They also tried Phil's twitter but he had switched his phone off.

Dan loved the fans,who had stood up for him. They had made comments like. “Leave Dan alone we love him so much. He deserves the credit for the awesome videos he makes. Dan inspires us each and every day so stop hating on him. Try spreading kindness please don’t kill yourself we love you Dan.” 

 

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

 

By this time Dan was pacing around in his room. He was thinking about all the comments good and bad ones. Dan knew Phil had been in the living room watching Nexflix on his computer. 

But Dan didn’t care any more he was over everything he wanted it all to end. Dan paced as he looked at what he was wearing.  
He was wearing his black jumper with green patterns on it. Along with he usual black pair of pants to go with it. In his bedroom he rolled up his sleeves and went to the draw next to his bed. 

Opening the draw he pulled out a sharp sliver blade. It was under TABINOF and a gaming device. Dan grabbed the silver blade and shut the draw. He ran out of his room into the bathroom slamming the door. 

 

Phil heard the door slam and thought Dan must of finished his live show, Phil was concerned that Dan had slammed the door so Phil spoke. “Dan are you alright? Did you finish your live show? Dan.” Phil raised his voice but Dan didn’t give a response. Phil got up from the couch placing his laptop down and went to go find Dan. 

In the bathroom Dan was looking at himself in the mirror. It was the thing he hated to do the most because it meant he had to reflect on himself. Phil looked in Dan’s room for him but he wasn’t there. His laptop was on his bed but no Dan. 

Dan took his silver blade placed it above on his wrist and cut deep into his arm. He honestly didn’t feel the pain he just watched as the blood came out into the sink. Dan just felt dead inside.  
Phil realised that Dan must of went into the bathroom. So Phil knocked on the door. “Dan are you in there? Please talk to me.” Still Dan didn’t speak not wanting Phil to find him. He wasn’t alright he thought but still Dan couldn’t find the words to answer Phil. When no answer came for the second time now Phil started to panic. He knew how Dan got when he locked himself away.

Cutting into his other arm Dan watched the blood go everywhere. The razor slipped from his hands into the sink. Than looking into the mirror for a second time Dan knew it was time. He wanted his life over so Dan made a fist and at high speed he slammed it threw the mirror.

Phil heard the glass shattering and knew that something wasn’t right. The door wasn’t locked so Phil threw it open. He bursted into a sight that was literally his worst nightmare. 

The mirror was shattered with Dan on the ground. He was lying in all the broken glass. Phil couldn't avoid all the pieces of glass it was almost impossible. “Oh my god Dan why? I’ve…... gotta call an ambulance you'll be ok.” Phil said grabbing some towels off a near by hanger. Before Phil went for his phone noticing it was off he turned it on. Phil also tried to get Dan’s wrists to stop bleeding but Dan kept pushing Phil away. 

By this time Phil had blood on his blue lion t shirt. Splatters on his pants also than Dan yelled. “NOOOOOOOOO…… STAY AWAY I WANT TO DIE.” Dan screamed out loudly scaring Phil. He had never heard such pain in Dan’s voice before. It was killing Phil to see his boyfriend say such things. 

"NO DANIEL I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE please …. let me save you.” Phil said screamed back letting his emotions take over. But he soon noticed that he was too late. As Dan rolled over,from his back to reveal. He had a long piece of glass right in his chest where his heart was. 

“Crap damn no don’t pull it out Dan. It’s stopping the blood flow so now an ambulance is happening.” Phil said dialling 999 after his phone turned on. Phil explained the situation to them on the phone and hanged up after. Phil noticed the millions of notifications from twitter. But Phil focused on Dan instead as the ambulance was now on the way. How ever Dan had pulled out the piece of long glass. 

 

Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face and I  
Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face and I

 

Phil rushed over to Dan who’s shirt was slowly getting soaked in blood. He knelt down holding Dan in his arms with one hand on his cuts. The hand was on his heart wound as blood flowed out of Dan's chest Phil spoke.  
“Why Dan was it the live show? You can’t leave me here all alone.” Phil said letting his tears drop onto Dan’s shirt. He wanted to no why this was happening. As his boyfriend lay there covered in blood from the cuts. Also the blood from his heart wound flew out rapidly now. 

Dan could barely talk properly as he was finding it hard to breathe. “Live show……….yes……..people being mean………. tell me to die………. not you Phil….. I love you.” That broke Phil’s heart literally right than and there. How could people be so mean and not realise what words do to people. 

 

“I love you so much don’t you see that it doesn’t matter what they say. You still'd have of had me you spork I love you.” Phil said wanting to get in a goodbye in case the ambulance never got there. Speaking of the ambulance it had he been ages since Phil had got off the phone with them. 

Dan managed to speak once again though his words were further apart.  
“Sorry………to disappoint you Phil………………I think I have to go now I love you my little lion.” Dan said as his eyes were shutting on there on accord. Phil understood what Dan meant but never wanted to let him go. 

“No…… please stay ……. I can’t do this again………. I love you so much Dan you could never disappoint me.” Phil said looking into Dan’s eyes for one last time. Dan looked back as everything in him was feeling cold and still. “One…… last kiss……..” Dan spluttered out as his body was shutting down by the minuet. “Yes one last kiss but it’s not goodby, it’s till we see each other again soon.” Phil said half giving a forced smile so Dan would think he was ok. 

Phil leaned down over Dan not looking away from him. As Phil placed their lips together they kissed. Dan put everything he had into the kiss sucking and applying pressure. He made Phil moan running his tongue along Phil’s lips but than it all stopped. Phil knew when Dan had stopped kissing him and the blood flow stopped he was gone.

Dan’s eyes were shut his face pale and white. His body covered in blood and Phil left holding him said. “I love you Dan……. wait for me ok.”  
Unsure as to what that meant Phil picked up the same piece of glass. Than holding Dan’s hand kissed him and shoved the glass through his own chest. Than blood spurted straight out as Phil dropped and collapsed beside Dan. 

 

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

 

Later when the ambulance finally arriving after being stuck in traffic. The scene they saw they was not what they expected to find. Dan and Phil holding hands covered in blood lying on the floor. Together they were curled up with glass shattered around them. 

“They both are dead damn we should call this one in.” The female officer with blonde hair said to another male officer in the room. He had brown hair and was in shocked at the sight before him. 

“What a shame if only we had gotten here sooner. What could of brought them do this take their own lives.?” The Brown hair officer said looking at the lovers holding hands side by side on the ground. 

The scene faded and eventually their bodies were taken away. Dan and Phil had always been together and always would be even in death. 

When the news came on that evening the whole world was at a stand still. After being told about Dan and Phil's death's nobody believed it. The whole you tube community was in tatters. Their hearts were broken from loosing two people they cared about. Nothing was ever the same again. Videos were made by the fans that truly cared about Dan and Phil in honour of their lives. The Phandom was broken and scattered but some remain till this day. Each of Dan and Phil's parents bonded together after losing their children 

A memorial site was made for both of them on the internet to honour them. Their videos stayed on you tube as their final words were uploaded to AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire. 

Dan’s video was titled Goodbye Internet. He talked about what lead him to taking his own life. Dan always new what his final video was about. Because his depression had never gone away. Also it was about how people should realise that words are powerful and can affect people in different ways. Dan briefly spoke about ho people should come together instead of spreading hate. He started the hash tag #SpreadALittleKIndness which trended world wide and is on going. Dan also briefly spoke about how Phan was real. Dan told the viewers that Phil was the best part of his life and would love him always.

 

Phil’s video was called Hey Guys For Last Time. He spoke about wanting to make a difference in the lives of others. The lives of those who suffered from depression. It was all about how to stay strong specially when all you wanted to do was give up. Also he talked about Dan and how he loved him also told the fans they were together. Phil also mentioned the TABINOF was still coming out. Which would be the best thing to remember them by and he started the hash tag #MakeAChange which trended world wide as well. 

Dan&Phil were remembered for their amazing life. The videos they made/shared together but more importantly the love they created between them. The fans who had picked on Dan really regretted what they had done. They knew that no matter what they couldn't take it back. But they could make a change. 

Bullying was not ok so campaigns were started to raise awareness.

So In all truth most of the world changed that day. The internet had become a much nicer place to be. 

On the end of Phil & Dan's videos they left song lyrics at the end which were. 

A word is just a word till you mean what you say. Love isn’t love until you give it away. 

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> (Bullying is not ok so please think about what u do and say. I've been watching Dan's live shows for the past few weeks. I am so annoyed at some of the people in the chat for doing that.) 
> 
> For telling Dan to fix his bed to stop swearing. Dan is his own person and is a wonderful human being. So please try spreading kindness instead of hate. 
> 
> As you never really no what someone is going through. So think before you speak will what u say offend someone. Because bullying needs to stop. We need to take a stand and say enough is enough.


End file.
